[DX] Talking/CW copying dog for sale

[Joe T Milam]

During a recent trip, my wife and I were driving around the back woods of
East Texas. On one back road I saw a sign in front of a 
broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog for Sale."  Well, I needed a
break so I stopped to see what the deal was. I went into 
the backyard and saw a nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" I asked.

"Yep," the Lab replied.

Well after I got over the shock of hearing a dog talk, I asked "So,
what's your story?"

"Ah, shucks.  There ain't much to tell.  Is that a VUU screwdriver
antenna on your truck out there?"

"How did you know that," I asked?

The Lab looked up and said, "Well, I'm an amateur radio operator.  I got
my ticket when I was a young pup and in no time at all I 
had my 5-Band DXCC in phone and CW.  The CIA heard about me and asked me
to do some spy work for them.  I would hang around the 
communications centers and with my keen hearing I could copy the
transmissions.  Because no one figured a dog would be 
eavesdropping, I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years. 
Copying high-speed CW all day really tired me out and I knew 
I wasn't getting any younger, so I decided to settle down.  I retired
from the CIA (8 dog years is 56 CIA years) and joined an 
amateur radio club.  In fact I won first place in the Oklahoma QSO Party
two years in a row.  Then I had a mess of puppies and got 
away from amateur radio for a while. I sure miss my radio. Why don't you
buy me and I'll be your CW operator in the Texas QSO Party.

I said, "Let me see what I can do."  I went back in and asked the owner
what he wanted for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy said.

"Ten dollars?  This dog is amazing!  Why on earth are you selling him so
cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff. He's just a No Code
Tech."